Friday, February 18, 2011

Up

It was late, flirting with Harrison's bedtime, and he was very cranky because of it. I got him unbuckled from his seat and out of the car and pointed up and said, "Look, Harrison! That's the moon."

In an instant, his tears gave way to a wide-eyed, open-mouthed smile as he looked up in wonder at the moon and stars for the first time in his short little life. You could tell that he was awe-struck by this new dimension that he had never discovered before. I sang Twinkle Twinkle Little Star and he happily clapped along and then snuggled into my neck, all the while staring at the beauty of the clear night sky.

As I lay in bed that night, I reflected on that special moment I shared with him. Getting to see life through his eyes is truly a wonderful blessing and it tickled me that he had never thought to look up at the sky before. But in toddler logic, why would he? How would he know anything existed outside of what he's already been introduced to before?

And then it struck me.

Am I looking up as often as I should be?

To what I believe -- to what I know -- exists without a shadow of doubt?

To the One who loves, to the One who saves, to the One who redeems?

Or do I get caught up in the busyness of life and only focus on the ground in front of me?

Am I trusting His promises and placing all my faith in Him, or am I carefully watching and planning my every step as each foot hits the pavement?

Am I intentionally and faithfully looking up to His kingdom, or am I blinded by my own finite world?

Do I seek to serve Him, or do I seek to serve myself?

Do I take enough time to adore, admire and worship Him and stop to relish in the splendor of His creation, or am I consumed with trivial things like stuff and stress and worry? And a clean house and crossed-off to-do list?

As much as I wish I could answer yes to these questions, I have to say that it's a struggle to keep God as my number one priority all of the time. It hurts to admit that, because I so want to have unwaivering passion and wonder and awe for my Lord. I want to be wholly captivated by Him. But I'm selfish. And I'm ashamed. I'm broken. Aren't we all?

But the beauty of it is that even as undeserving as I am of His grace and love and mercy, He still covers me in His grace and love and mercy. I could never measure up to giving Him the perfect love and respect He deserves because I am far, far, far from perfect. But Jesus was. And because of Him, I have been rescued. I have been reconciled. I am perfect in His eyes, through His son. There is such peace in that truth.

I love that He chose my one year old son to gently remind me to steer my focus upward. And I am comforted to know that even when I fail to look up as often as I should, He will still always be there, waiting for me patiently and loving me unconditionally.


3 comments:

Anonymous said...

thank you for the reminder... we all need it sometimes, some more than others...that was beautiful and true to heart. love ya always mary

Tienna said...

This made me tear up a little. Thanks you for that.

Tracye said...

Beautiful.

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