Friday, March 27, 2009

Letter to Peanut

Dear Peanut,


You are absolutely, without a doubt, the best birthday present I have ever received! You are answered prayers and dreams coming true. You have only been inside my belly for 2 weeks but I am head-over-heels in love with you! This week has been a whirlwind; my emotions have taken me places from shock and wonder, to pure joy and excitement, to paralyzing fear and anxiety. My mommy instincts are in overdrive and I am already worried for you! Right now you are the teeny tiny size of a poppy seed and I’ve only known about you for 5 short days, but the thought of losing you is unbearable. I want the absolute best for you, and that will never change.


God has and continues to teach me great things during this experience. I am trying my best to lean on Him, to find trust in Him, and to be patient and comforted by His presence and remember that, no matter what, He is sovereign. I am trying to humble myself before Him and give up all control – not that I ever really had any to begin with…


Peanut, your daddy and I are ecstatic that God has blessed us with your conception! In an instant, we found clarity. So much of what we previously gave priority to now seems so trivial. You have defined for us what truly matters in life, and we absolutely cannot wait to begin this new chapter as a growing family!


Love always,


Mommy

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Oh, What a Birthday!

I've never had a happier one. Or a more surprising one. Let me start from the beginning.

I wasn't really looking forward to my birthday this year. 26 is certainly nothing to get excited about, and lately I've been feeling a little down about some things that I won't go into right at this moment. And then add to that the two weeks I've been sick this month with bronchitis and the fact that I received my first pair of glasses (after years of bragging about my superb 20/20 vision) AND a super stylish inhaler all in the same day - let's just say that I haven't been feeling so hot these days!

Enter Friday. Rick gets tons of credit here. He, at the last minute, decides to throw me a surprise party. Now, thankfully I caught wind of it several hours beforehand because unknowingly walking into a houseful of guests could have quite possibly sent me over the edge. I'm not a huge fan of surprises; something about me always feeling the need to be in control? Ha! But you ladies know what I'm talking about. We need time to make sure our houses are tidy and our hair and makeup is just right before welcoming 20+ people into our homes.

I was still feeling a little under the weather, but I had a fantastic time at the party and was really able to let loose and relax a little, which is just what I needed. The next day we had planned a short camping trip with a few friends. Had a great time and laughed at all of the hiccups in the trip - from me being completely worthless due to the festivities of the night before, from Rick forgetting the tent poles and rigging our tent with sticks, to Lindsay having a brief I-just-realized-I'm-not-the-camping-type-of-girl meltdown, to Jon winning the world record for loudest snoring EVER, to Ashley insisting Germ-X is a suitable substitute for a shower despite Joel's shrieking pleas for relief. Ha ha! I had a fantastic weekend - I don't know what I would do without all of my friends and family...they are all so great and I love them dearly! Thanks for some fantastic birthday memories.

Mmmm....cupcakes.....


I got several bottles of wine. And now I'm patiently waiting to be able to enjoy a glass!

That is one sad looking tent.

A couple of MacGyvers...they were so proud of themselves.

Joel Bug!


Fast forward to Monday: my actual birthday. Rick and I took the day off from work to spend together and do some shopping, but I just couldn't seem to get motivated (or out of bed). My case of the blahs was back with a vengeance, and on top of that I was still feeling really run down. As I was lying there (trying to get motivated), I reflected on the fact that with each passing year birthdays are just less and less exciting. My last thought as I finally got my butt out of bed was that I was a little bummed that I didn't have a gift to open on my actual birthday. Does God have a great sense of humor or what?!

I really have no clue what made me decide to take the test. I had taken one Friday morning because I just haven't been feeling right the last week or so. It was negative on Friday and I didn't think anything of it. That morning the last of two tests was sitting on the counter and I just mindlessly picked it up and...well, peed on the stick. And just when I thought there were no more birthday surprises in store, God gave me the best gift imaginable.


I had played out a million times in my head the way I would tell Rick the news if we were to ever get pregnant. It was a cute little plan that included our dogs and of course I was going to be there with the camera in hand to capture his reaction. Those plans flew right out the window the instant the timer flashed into those 8 little letters. I forgot all about the camera, but believe me, I will never forget the look on Rick's face when I bombarded him with news.

This will truly go down in the books as my most memorable and exciting birthday ever!

Monday, March 23, 2009

A New Chapter...

Let's face it, journaling has never been one of my strong points. I'm the person who reads books about scrapbooking, but is far too overwhelmed by the idea to even know where to start. I've gone to Hobby Lobby countless times over the last several years fully committed to the nice idea of preserving our precious memories in the form of a chic and artistic album, always fascinated by the isles of pretty paper, stamps, and plethra of other scrapbooking supplies. However, my perfectionism and lack of creativity (how is that for a cruel mix of characteristics) always keep me right at square one. I've also tried the simpler route - just jotting down my thoughts and memories into a pretty notebook. I have several journals that I've attempted to keep up with only to be discouraged simply because I am unhappy with my own handwriting or displeased with my writing style! I am really my own worst enemy sometimes. The thought of starting my own blog never really appealed to me - don't get me wrong, I love reading (or lurking, as some would call it) others' blogs, but I just never felt like I had anything interesting to write about or contribute. Plus, don't get me started on all of the bloggy decisions to be made! There is a lot of pressure in choosing the right name and layout, and not to mention the learning curve that would be required to bring me up to speed with the cultured bloggers...once again, Kelsey, meet Square One. I think you guys may know each other.

Well, folks, all of that changes today. Today is a very special day for Rick and me. Today is the day we have been longing for and praying about for some time now. Today marks a new chapter in our lives that will harvest a lifetime of memories that I am very inspired and motivated to record. Today, one little positive test changes the rest of our lives, and we have never, ever been happier!
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