Rick and I went on a date to P.F. Chang's after small group. We were sitting there making casual conversation when he dropped a giant bombshell on me.
A little back story -- we hadn't entertained the idea of more biological children in a really long time. In fact, we had already agreed that we were officially done. We had discussed and decided that we would make that decision final with a vasectomy. I don't know if it was the thought of being done for good that made Rick have second thoughts, or if it just came down to having cold feet about the procedure and his little swimmers were begging for a pardon. Ha! But either way, he threw me a curve ball.
Rick: I've been doing some thinking. I think we should have another baby.
Ummm....say WHAT?? I honestly thought he was joking. I was always open to having more kids but he was never too keen on the idea. Given my pregnancy history and the fact that we felt called to foster care, I was okay with being done. After several minutes of bantering back and forth over crispy green beans and lettuce wraps, I started to realize that maybe he was serious. My palms got all sweaty and my heart was racing and I'm pretty sure my eyes were the size of saucers. I was reeeeally not expecting to be having this conversation!!
At this point, we were still waiting on a placement for 2 siblings. I asked him if he had changed his mind about wanting to foster again, and he told me he wanted to do both...that they aren't mutually exclusive so why not give it a whirl?? Um, suuuuurre! Easy peasy! Let's just go from 2 to 5 kids because that sounds like a walk in the park! I began arguing my points on how this was an insane idea, that there were way too many variables, that I don't think our car will hold 5 car seats, that our house is too small, that I suck at being pregnant, and that he was supposed to be getting a vasectomy in a few weeks! And he told me that God has a plan for our family and everything will work out just fine, so not to sweat the details. (He also told me that there was no guarantee it would be a difficult pregnancy. hahahahahaha)
And then our fortune cookies came.
Here was mine:
And here was his:
We laughed so hard. I'm not really a superstitious person but I do believe God gives us little signs here and there. And we have an inside joke with fortune cookies because the night before Rick proposed to me, we grabbed Chinese for dinner and my fortune was an exciting message is on its way to you.
After we stopped laughing and he convinced me that this was, in fact, our sign, I told him I would give it 1 month. If it was truly meant to be, it would happen, and if not, then it would be time to schedule the vasectomy. He agreed and we shook on it. In my mind, I thought there was no way it would happen. Without completely oversharing, I'll just say that I haven't been on birth control since before Harrison was born and we weren't very careful in that department. ;)
In that next month, Rick proved himself right about God having a plan and working out all the details. Elby came to us and at the last minute, the placement went from 2 kids to just 1 when they placed his brother with their other siblings. And in the same month, this happened:
I knew I was pregnant before I even took a test. I didn't have that feeling with the big kids, but this time I just knew. I took a test the day I was supposed to get my period and I was right! I'll never forget it -- I had stayed overnight in the hospital with Elby when he was admitted for RSV. I took the test first thing in the morning and then had to keep the news bottled up inside until that afternoon when we were discharged and when Rick got home from work. I didn't really have a fun plan on how to announce it, so I decided to text him while he was sitting on the couch next to me and then take a picture of him reading it.
|a) Rick was sick with a cold. b) And stupid auto correct.|
|This was allllll your idea, bud!|
So I guess Hadley was our spontaneously-planned-yet-still-very-unexpected-surprise. I look at her beautiful face and it brings tears to my eyes to think that we thought we were done before we had her. I can't even put into words how thankful I am that our original plan got overwritten. It has reinforced the lesson to let go of that false sense of control and stay flexible and receptive to what God has for us. I have no idea what's in store in our future. We would love to foster again and possibly even adopt down the line. But we would also be content with what He's blessed us with already. But I will say...the vasectomy is now scheduled ;)