Tuesday, November 12, 2013

Oh, Harper.

I feel like the majority of the stories I've posted about the funny things the kids have said and done have been about Harrison. Obviously that's because he's older and Harper needed some time to catch up. Well folks, she's officially there. Here are a few Harper stories she's given us over the last couple of months. That girl.

 Where to start? Okay, how about this one. See this sweet, innocent little girl in this picture?


Are you wondering why she's standing next to a trash bag? Well. Funny you should ask. I took this picture of her one day after we got home from school. I would say she had a little accident...except that accident isn't really the right term. She's been potty trained for 3 months now with only a handful of accidents. This particular day was back in the first few weeks of school where I was nervous she might get distracted and forget to ask to go to the bathroom, so when I saw that she was still in the same dress I dropped her off in I was relieved to know that there hadn't been any issues. Ahem. Enter the trash bag. Soooooo, apparently Little Miss was feeling a little defiant at nap time like she's been known to be. Before she was potty trained I used to have to put her in "sleep clothes" with crotch snaps to keep her from taking her diaper off and peeing in her bed in protest. Well on this day, she was a little tidier. Instead of going to the bathroom in her panties, you know, since you're not supposed to go potty in your panties, she took those suckers off, hiked up her dress, AND TOOK A DUMP ON HER NAP MAT.

Those poor teachers. She's in the same class that Harrison was in 2 years ago when he had such an epic diaper blow-out that his teachers had to actually bathe him in the sink. We have acquired quite the reputation.

***

In the 30 seconds I was distracted at the TJ Maxx checkout, Harper rummaged through my purse and took it upon herself to put some of my lipstick on. She was so proud. And I could not resist laughing at that silly girl. Even though she didn't put the lid to the lipstick back on before putting back in my bag. It did not end well for my pretty Coach purse. But she sure was cute! One of those precious images I'll hold in my heart forever.



***

Last week was a doozy. I mentioned on here that we had a rough afternoon on Halloween. It was the culmination of the following several events, all of which have taken place in just the last week or two. 

She's become quite notorious for hunting and gathering instead of sleeping. I heard something in the kitchen and when I opened the door to the pantry, this is what I found:


Ripping, tearing, chewing, and ravaging like a wild animal. Clearly she is smart and went straight for the rainbow chip cake mix. Thankfully I rescued it just in time. Also notice that she likes to strip down naked before climbing out of her crib. At least this day she had the decency to leave on her panties.
 
***

One afternoon the three of us were playing out in the backyard when she decided to suddenly run inside, slam the door, and click. Locked us out. Then she peeked through the blinds and laughed an evil laugh at me when I asked her to unlock it. Nooooo, Mommy. Muhahahaha! For about 20 minutes. Then when she actually came around and decided to let us in, she couldn't figure it out. We installed child locks up high on the doors after Harrison made his great escape one night to wander the 'hood looking for me, and while she could climb up on the arm of the couch to lock it, she couldn't get it unlocked. Thankfully we have a key pad on our garage and I was able to get back in that way (and that child lock wasn't locked), or else we would have had to break a window.

suckas!!!


***

Later that afternoon:



Her second coloring stunt. I wrote about her first one here and how it was hard to be mad at her. The second time around it wasn't as hard. Ha! She put a lot of effort into this one, too. She was in the playroom while I was cooking and I glanced in at her several times and saw that she was under the table. I thought she was just picking up crayons she had dropped on the floor but instead she was hard at work at her rainbow masterpiece. Grr.

***

 This is another example of some of the mischief we've been dealing with when she decides to trick us into thinking she's actually napping. She's sneaky like that.


I guess squeezing an entire tube of Desitin cream and a bottle of lotion and then covering it all in baby powder will teach me that I shouldn't procrastinate packing away the diaper supplies we don't need anymore.

***

Harrison has bronchitis and we have him on antibiotics and breathing treatments, but I wanted to get him some over the counter meds to help him sleep better at night. I've never given him any so I was asking the pharmacist which one I should get, when I saw her eyes get huge. I followed her stare and there was my daughter, who had unbuckled her seatbelt and was standing up in the seat of the cart....dropping trou. Didn't need to go potty but I guess just felt like mooning everybody?! She is quite the exhibitionist.

***

Rick texted me this picture yesterday with the following caption -- "Harper went potty."


A brand-spanking-new roll of toilet paper. Thankfully she didn't flush it. Rick said it was a lot of fun fishing out soggy toilet paper mixed with poop. I'll just take his word for it. :)


So there you have it. Stories of her own, preserved forever here on our blog. That Harper Girl is such a mess...she is always keeping us on our toes and exhausting us all at the same time. Love her to a million pieces!




1 comment:

Jocelyn said...

Hahahahah... I LOVE all these stories! It sounds like you have a (sweet and lovable) mess on your hands!

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