Let the stories begin...

So I just realized that today is the first time I got dressed and left the house since Saturday. How sad is that??? We got back from our Dallas trip (more on that later) Friday afternoon and between recovering from traveling and trying to get over my cold and then getting hit by a mean, horrible stomach virus it has been a lonnnnng week of being stuck in the house feeling yucky and grimy. Boy did it feel good to get in the car and see the sunshine this morning!

Anyway, I wanted to share a few stories on here before I forget. What do the following items have in common?

A very-cute-but-also-very-mischievous toddler, that's what!

Let's start with the shoe. I have heard many, many stories of parents being embarrassed by the things that come out of their kids' mouths and I knew my time was coming. Aside from the mortifying experience where he pooped on the floor of Olive Garden, he hasn't really given me too many embarrassing stories yet. I'm afraid my time has arrived though. We were at HEB (a very crowded HEB, I might add) getting some groceries a couple of weeks ago when out of his mouth he starts shouting, "MOM! Mommy! Gray croc! I need the gray croc! Momma, give me the gray croc! I NEEEEEED THE GRAY CROC!!!"  Except he's 2 and can't say his "r"s. I'll give you a second to take the "r"s out of "gray croc" and re-read that last sentence. It took a minute to register that he was talking about his shoe that he had kicked off and took a longer minute for my eyes to return to their normal size and for my heart to return to its normal beat. Ha!

On to the next item. Rick and I recently upgraded to a king size mattress (and can I just say the extra room is HEAVENLY??). It had just been delivered and we were all stretching out on its comfy bliss when Harrison told us he was ready to go night-night. From the child who has never once fallen asleep outside of his crib, we found this to be humorous and decided to play along. We told him goodnight and that if he got up off the bed then he would have to go to his bed. He agreed and closed his eyes and we shut the door. I'm not exaggerating when I say we gave him no more than 2 minutes before we checked on him. We're not fools, people! But apparently 2 minutes unsupervised are two minutes too long to trust that ornery boy. I opened the door and heard some shuffling. As my eyes finally started to adjust to the dark I noticed something in his mouth and asked him what it was. That's when he proudly exclaimed, "I found a pen!" And that's when we discovered he had drawn all over himself and our brand. new. mattress. We didn't even have sheets on it yet. Thankfully we had at least managed to get the mattress protector on because any stain or marking whatsoever automatically voids the warranty. Leave it to our kid to try to void a 20-year warranty on the very first day...in just 2 minutes...yeah, I think he'll be sleeping in his crib until he's 5 at least. :)

And finally. Now we get to the Safety First lock that our toddler found a way to make the complete opposite of safe. Our doors have handles instead of knobs and we have these hooks to keep Harrison out of the double doors like closets and our master bath. I was in our bathroom getting ready and went to walk out and discovered that he had locked me in. The lock wasn't even on the freaking door! He found it, knew it was for the door handles, shut the doors, and slapped that puppy on there. I started to panic a little when I realized that I was truly locked in and both my kids were in the living room unsupervised. I called Harrison and he tried to get the lock off but couldn't figure out how. I called Rick and he was really helpful, let me tell you. Especially if you call laughing hysterically in my ear helpful. In hindsight I do see the humor in the situation, but not so much when I was in the moment. Finally I did what I had to do: channeled some Chuck Norris and kung fu kicked my way out of there. Harrison thought it was pretty cool. Again, in the moment, I didn't. :)


Jocelyn said…
O.M.G! This is all just TOO funny! I can't imagine how you must have panicked over the locked door. (And yes, I'm knocking on wood as I laugh and type!)


Oh it's just too, too funny!

Side note: yesterday, Eli was saying "Mama likes the beach!" But the way he was saying "likes the" sounded quite a bit like "is a." And beach was rhyming with rich. Thank goodness this was in the car and not at HEB.
Anonymous said…
joys of motherhood..enjoy this time... goes by too fast... love mamaw
Tracye said…
Sounds like a normal week at my house!

1. We rarely go anywhere. There are days when my car NEVER MOVES!

2. As for the rest, well... I don't have to tell you how mischievous my little guys are. All I can say is, when there are two of them conspiring together, it gets pretty hairy sometimes!

3. Yay for a king-size bed!!! I don't know how people sleep on anything else! I'm all for closeness, but when I need my sleep, I *really* need my sleep!
Anonymous said…
Cherish these moments and know you have a weapon to use when he gets older and would not want his friends to know of his shenanigans.

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