Tuesday, February 28, 2012

John 14:15

I haven't carved out much time for blogging lately but I wanted to post this video. We've all been sick but I'm thankful for the extra snuggles from Harrison, because let's face it, the boy is not normally one to snuggle. I was up with him several times Saturday night due to a sore throat and cough. I hate that he's been sick but I love that he wants his momma for comfort. We didn't get much sleep but I thoroughly enjoyed our conversations, including but not limited to: tractors, firetrucks, puppies, astronauts, Buzz & Woody, friends at school, bicycles, and best of all, Jesus. We talked about some of the things he's learning about at school, like Jesus healing the blind man with mud (which has unfortunately caused many time-outs for Harrison because he now thinks spit is awesome), and also worked on one of their memory verses. I can't explain how special it was for me to hear scripture coming out of the mouth of my toddler for the first time.


If you love me, you will keep my commandments. John 14:15

And it couldn't have come at a better time for me. I've been feeling pretty discouraged and exhausted lately. Rick has been working a lot and if I'm being honest, our kids are kicking my butt.  I go to bed bone-tired and feeling defeated many nights because while it seems like I am constantly taking care of others and cooking and cleaning, it still somehow looks like an F5 tornado swept through the house. Other moms with babies really close in age like ours warned me that the first year would be really tough and they were RIGHT. It doesn't help that we've all been under the weather. Or that my zombie daughter doesn't think she needs sleep. Or that her doctor said no to going to the Y until flu season is over...which means any uninterrupted, quality time in my bible has been scarce...which means I am feeling like my emotional tank is on empty. Sometimes I can't help but feel like the days are aimless and like I'm stuck in domestic monotony with no end in sight.

I know. Poor me, right?

Hearing Harrison recite his first memory verse helps put things back in perspective. My mission field isn't just changing endless diapers and cleaning up endless messes and folding endless laundry. It is also helping to lay a foundation for my kids and minister to my family in a humbling yet incredibly powerful way. Most days are not glamorous but that doesn't mean I have any less purpose. And even while I'm scrubbing toilets or making a meal that won't get eaten or rocking a fussy baby, my identity is grounded in Christ and my eyes are fixed not on just this house, but His Kingdom.

Now I need to get on the ball with teaching Harrison what a commandment is and how he should try his best to obey them. Which just might prove to be a challenge considering any time I throw the ol' L&O phrase his way...you know, "listen and obey"...it is quickly countered with an enthusiastic "NOOObey!!" He's clever like that.

And while I'm at it I should probably take my own advice on being more obedient to God. I think I might have a little of that NOOObey in me as well. Ha!

2 comments:

Tracye said...

Emotional tank empty? Check.

Domestic monotony? Check.

Kids kicking my butt? Check, check and double check!

Empathizing with everything else you said!

It's definitely hard, especially when there's no relief. I have two little ones at home with me all day, every day this year, and I'm coming to terms with the fact that I'm still going to have two little ones next year. All day, every day. As you know, my heart was really set on having just Cavvie... maybe because I'm ready for a little break!

I have no words of wisdom for you... because I'm going through it myself. Yesterday was particularly bad, but today was no picnic, either.

I'm sorry you're feeling it. Hopefully you'll get a second wind soon.

Anonymous said...

i am so proud of all of you, harrison for learning his verse and harper for harper and you for surviving...rick for working so hard for his family...and tracye and the kids for just being mine...but!!!!! wait for the teen years and these will seem easy... just remember this everyday till then..even if u have good kids they go nuts then...ask your mothers... just enjoy the craziness now..it is gone way too soon... love to all mamaw-bamaw-grandma- and ma... remeber to laugh it helps to keep you from crying too loud..

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