Wednesday, December 22, 2010

So I'm feeling a little nervous...

Actually, a lot nervous. Which is really silly, because today is such a special day. In about 3 hours, we'll be having an ultrasound to determine if Chicklet is a baby boy or a baby girl! Exciting, right?

Then why am I nervous?

I've said this before several times and it's the honest truth: I will be completely satisfied with either outcome. From the very beginning I felt for sure that it was a girl. Then I had a dream recently that it was a boy (who we named Eli - random, I know). Most everyone I've talked to thinks or is pulling for Chicklet to be a girl, which would be amazingly exciting. One of each; who doesn't want that? Of course a boy would be great, too, especially since they are going to be so close in age and we already have all the stuff for a boy. Either way, I'll be genuinely happy.

Then why am I so nervous?

I think it's because I have this weird need to please people. And not that anybody would be upset if it isn't a girl. It's just my unhealthy competitive nature that is telling me well if they want a girl then bygah I am going to give them a girl! Except that it is all really out of my control. I hate it when things are out of my control.  :)

So today I've been meditating on the fact that God created this baby and has already planned everything about his or her life. He knows exactly what the right dynamic for our family is and He has known what that looks like long before I ever began to even think about it. Whether we end up with 2 kids or 5 kids, whether they are boys or girls, and whether or not they are birthed by me or adopted, His plan for our lives is already determined and it is perfect.

That right there puts my nerves at ease.

I'll keep you posted!

1 comment:

Jocelyn said...

I love your blog (and my son, who was born Dec. 11, 2009, is named Eli!). Congrats on your baby girl!

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