Happy Heart

Yesterday was kind of a rough day. We are all sick again. Harrison is getting over an ear infection and Harper and I are wheezing and coughing and I don't know about her, but my throat feels like it's on fire. I'm willing to bet by her level of crankiness that she feels the same way. I was not in the best of moods and was not very "slow to anger" even though I'm trying really hard to work on that virtue. And Harrison was not very cooperative or nice (at one point he even called me "ugly" and when I asked him if he even knew what that meant he said, "it means not pretty. You are not pretty, Mommy." Ouch. I didn't know it was possible to have your feelings hurt by a 2 year old but obviously I need to get thicker skin.). The littlest things became battles of wills and I struggle so hard with knowing which ones to let go and which ones to hold my ground for the sake of principle. I want to raise him to be obedient and respectful, but MAN, I hate fighting with him all day long. It was just one of those days. One of those days with lots of spankings and timeouts and yelling even though I always swore I wouldn't yell at my children.  One of those days where I question myself and my confidence as a mother. One of those days that produced lots of tears from both of us. I sure do hate those kinds of days.

But I love how God gives us a fresh start every day. I got the kids up and dressed and asked them what they wanted for breakfast. Harrison of course shouted, "Whataburger!!!!" like he always does, even though we rarely eat there and I have no idea why he's obsessed with that particular "eating store." :) I was tempted to just throw some waffles in the toaster but I felt like the three of us could use a special "treat." The weather outside was gorgeous. We were all in great moods. Harper had on her diva sunglasses that she insists on wearing and Harrison was carrying around his space shuttle rocket and both of them were sporting huge smiles. In the middle of breakfast Harrison looked up at me with egg all over his face and said, "I love you soooo much, Mommy. You make my heart happy." and leaned over and gave me a big kiss. The sunlight was streaming through the window and shining on these two beautiful blessings I call mine and the tears just started coming. God sends us encouragement in the simplest and yet most extraordinary ways. I'm sure I looked like quite the nut sitting in Whataburger alone with two kids and crying but it is a sweet moment that I will always remember. Motherhood is the toughest job I've ever been faced with but is so incredibly rewarding.


Jocelyn said…
I can tell from reading your blog that you have many more good days than bad days... and that's also a blessing!

Being a good mama is hard, but you're doing a great job (and you have sweet kids to prove it).

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