The Bump Chronicles
Before peanut was conceived, I remember thinking that I couldn't wait to have a cute little pregnant belly. And I remember thinking that I looked sooo pregnant when Rick and I went to the beach for our anniversary back in, um, June. When I was still in the first trimester. And could still fit in my jeans. And actually button them, with no rubber bands necessary.
*sigh*
How naive was I? Never did I imagine I would become the ginormous waddling whale of a mess that I am today. Okay, maybe I'm exaggerating a bit. I'm not a total mess. And whales can't waddle, so that sentence doesn't really even make sense. But people, do you know how frustrating it is to OUTGROW YOUR MATERNITY CLOTHES? I'm down to about 2 shirts that will actually fit, and I don't think Rick exactly thinks it's sexy that I wear his clothes more than my own. My stomach will shrink back down, won't it? I'm starting to wonder if it's possible at this point. I'm very scared of the After, y'all.
We took the final maternity pictures over the weekend. I say "final" because this kid is no longer welcome in my warm & cozy uterus hotel any longer. Never mind the fact that the full term human being inside me is stubborn beyond belief and doesn't care that the eviction notice I've issued is collecting dust already. I've tried everything I can think of to naturally induce labor and he won't budge. But, I go to the doctor tomorrow and I am determined to hear good news from him. Like, "you are in labor and this baby is coming today and you will not have to be pregnant and huge and miserable one day longer." So please send labor-inducing thoughts our way, mmkay? Thanks!
I digress.
Since I'm in the final hours of my pregnancy (PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD LET THESE BE THE FINAL HOURS OF MY PREGNANCY), I thought I would get all nostalgic on you and document my growing belly over the last 10 months:
0 Months: Happy Birthday! You're pregnant!
3 months: "I'm showing SO much!" (Alternatively titled "I just ate a burrito.")
4 months: Rocking the I've-been-puking-all-day-every-day-for-12-weeks-straight look.
5 months: It's a boy!
6 Months: First night of childbirth classes
7 Months: Starting to get uncomfortable...
8 Months: Hurry up and take the picture b/c my back is killing me.
9 Months: Almost there, right?! I can do this, right?
Due Date: Hurry up and take the F***ing picture b/c I can't force a smile much longer.
10 Months: We'll go ahead and crop out the face since angry glares aren't flattering.
10 Months: Harrison, Daddy loves you. Come out and meet him! PLEASE.
PLEASE!!!!!!!
*sigh*
How naive was I? Never did I imagine I would become the ginormous waddling whale of a mess that I am today. Okay, maybe I'm exaggerating a bit. I'm not a total mess. And whales can't waddle, so that sentence doesn't really even make sense. But people, do you know how frustrating it is to OUTGROW YOUR MATERNITY CLOTHES? I'm down to about 2 shirts that will actually fit, and I don't think Rick exactly thinks it's sexy that I wear his clothes more than my own. My stomach will shrink back down, won't it? I'm starting to wonder if it's possible at this point. I'm very scared of the After, y'all.
We took the final maternity pictures over the weekend. I say "final" because this kid is no longer welcome in my warm & cozy uterus hotel any longer. Never mind the fact that the full term human being inside me is stubborn beyond belief and doesn't care that the eviction notice I've issued is collecting dust already. I've tried everything I can think of to naturally induce labor and he won't budge. But, I go to the doctor tomorrow and I am determined to hear good news from him. Like, "you are in labor and this baby is coming today and you will not have to be pregnant and huge and miserable one day longer." So please send labor-inducing thoughts our way, mmkay? Thanks!
I digress.
Since I'm in the final hours of my pregnancy (PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD LET THESE BE THE FINAL HOURS OF MY PREGNANCY), I thought I would get all nostalgic on you and document my growing belly over the last 10 months:
0 Months: Happy Birthday! You're pregnant!
3 months: "I'm showing SO much!" (Alternatively titled "I just ate a burrito.")
4 months: Rocking the I've-been-puking-all-day-every-day-for-12-weeks-straight look.
5 months: It's a boy!
6 Months: First night of childbirth classes
7 Months: Starting to get uncomfortable...
8 Months: Hurry up and take the picture b/c my back is killing me.
9 Months: Almost there, right?! I can do this, right?
Due Date: Hurry up and take the F***ing picture b/c I can't force a smile much longer.
10 Months: We'll go ahead and crop out the face since angry glares aren't flattering.
10 Months: Harrison, Daddy loves you. Come out and meet him! PLEASE.PLEASE!!!!!!!
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