Letter to Peanut

Dear Peanut,

You are absolutely, without a doubt, the best birthday present I have ever received! You are answered prayers and dreams coming true. You have only been inside my belly for 2 weeks but I am head-over-heels in love with you! This week has been a whirlwind; my emotions have taken me places from shock and wonder, to pure joy and excitement, to paralyzing fear and anxiety. My mommy instincts are in overdrive and I am already worried for you! Right now you are the teeny tiny size of a poppy seed and I’ve only known about you for 5 short days, but the thought of losing you is unbearable. I want the absolute best for you, and that will never change.

God has and continues to teach me great things during this experience. I am trying my best to lean on Him, to find trust in Him, and to be patient and comforted by His presence and remember that, no matter what, He is sovereign. I am trying to humble myself before Him and give up all control – not that I ever really had any to begin with…

Peanut, your daddy and I are ecstatic that God has blessed us with your conception! In an instant, we found clarity. So much of what we previously gave priority to now seems so trivial. You have defined for us what truly matters in life, and we absolutely cannot wait to begin this new chapter as a growing family!

Love always,

Mommy